Day 18: Island Hopping

For our last day in the Bay of Islands, we decided to rent a small speed boat and go island hopping! We woke up early, got a relatively normal almost-American-like breakfast and went to the pier. We rented the boat for about $50 each, the guy gave Brett a little boat driving course, and before we knew it we were on the water!

We perused around the small islands keeping our eyes peeled for dolphins. The islands were really pretty. The day was a bit cloudy, which was kind of disappointing, but we still had fun.

We went into one small little inlet to find quite a few boats anchored there. We figured that this must have been a good spot to stop, so we anchored and swam ashore to the smallest prettiest beach ever. We goofed around in the crystal clear water and decided to hike a grassy hill behind the beach. Hill was a bit of an understatement: this thing was fairly steep. Right as we reached the top, the sun came out. The view was amazing!! You could see a bunch of different islands all around us and the whole place was gorgeous!

We didn't stay too long, we had to get back to catch the bus back to Auckland at 4 o'clock. Brett let me drive the boat for a little, which was wicked fun. When we landed, we grabbed some lunch at Tito's and went to get on the bus.

Now, the "Naked Bus" on the way to the Bay of Islands was a small thing that was pulling a trailer. This Naked Bus was a giant coach bus. We though, "Yeah, this is sweet as, this is what I paid for."

We were wrong. It was not what we paid for.

Before even entering the bus, the bus driver was yelling and swearing at another costumer who was yelling and swearing right back. I won't use the language here, but it was rather colorful profanity. We were kind of freaked out, but we and the other 20 people at the bus stop got on the bus. Once everyone sat down, the bus driver proceeded to bad mouth this former customer and swear in front of the entire bus.

Someone yelled to the driver, "You're the worst bus driver ever!"

Bus driver, "Excuse me??!! I don't have to take that s*#t! No I don't! I'll kick you off the goddamn bus, I will!"

Person, "I'm a paying costumer!"

Driver, "Do you think I give a damn?! I do not have to be treated that way from you. You shut your f-ing mouth or your gone!"

The girl shut up quick, and we started driving. As soon as we pulled out, he was politely chatting with the nice middle aged chinese couple right behind him. Dude was psycho.

At the next stop, a girl got up and asked if she could go to the bathroom. Scratch that, the toilet.

FUN FACT #15: They don't call it a bathroom here, its called the toilet. I once asked if an establishment had a restroom, and the guy looked at me funny. "No, we don't have a hang out room to watch tv or something if that's what your asking me...." Well no duh dude, this is a restaurant. Truth be told, I find it kind of crude to just call it "the toilet" but then again it does make sense...

So the girl asks to go to the toilet. Not an unreasonable request, the ride takes about 4 and a half hours. The bus driver whips around, "No, you cannot go to the toilet. We are on a tight schedule because SOME OF OUR PASSENGERS HELD UP THE BUS!!!! No toilet for you."

"B-b-but, I really have to go..."

"Well hold it! Or get off! We are not stopping so you can piss, go sit down."

HOLY. CRAP. Bro was trippin. I had to pee too, but I wasn't about to go get my ass kicked by this dude to do it. So I thought "Be the Camel" and we got back on the road again, and although I didn't see it, Emma swears she saw him rolling a cigarette while driving. ON NEW ZEALAND ROADS.  If sky diving wasn't going to kill me, I thought that this was some sort of God's cruel punishment for scaring my mom so bad.

Mind you, the entire bus is freaked out at this point. I mean terrified. Everyone is too scared to talk for fear of being yelled at. Meanwhile, the driver is chatting away with his middle age chinese couple best friends like nothing is happening. We just plugged into our i pods and kept to ourselves. That is until Amy saw some sheep. I think she must have had a momentary brain lapse, because she literally turns to look at me and Lizzy, and yells "BBAAA-AA-AAA!!!" Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I thought the bus driver was going to pull over and kill us all. But the chinese people distracted him as we punched Amy's arm and the rest of the bus gave us dirty looks. Dear Lord.

So we finally made it to Auckland, snagged our stuff, and sprinted to the nearest McDonald's to pee. The whole ride had just been unreal, we laughed our entire walk home. The next day we received an email from Naked Bus informing us the bus driver had been fired and our next ride was half price. Not bad for a full bladder and a silent ride (minus Amy's sheep incident).